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[18 Jun 2004|10:28am]
[ mood | relaxed ]

This is going to be my last proper update in here before I go & before I start using the new journal. I might put the odd quiz in here, but mainly I'm using the new LJ from now on.

Thanks to all of you for filling the past year-&-a-bit that I've been on Livejournal with laughs, drama & the occasional bit of good advice too. I hope it's been the same for all of you, & if you'd like to continue reading the saga that is my life, you're going to have to add the new journal & be patient.

It's been a pleasure knowing you all, I'll see some of you this afternoon; Leesh littleleesh, Kate likeneontubing, Dan prophet_orange, Michael lord_lucan, & Lee dyst0vox but as for the rest of you; safe journey, etc etc, take care & don't eat yellow snow.

& nooooow, some lyrics for the occasion;

The Sundays
Goodbye


"I vow that it’s goodbye and God bless
Why did we have to assume we’re exactly the same?
O no, talking about yourself

I vow that it’s goodbye to the old ways
Those stories were a good read
They were dumb as well
I could never be seen
Falling down on my knees crawling
O no, talk about a sell

O as the heavens shudder baby
I belong to you
O they said you get what you deserve and all they said was true

So is this what it’s come to?
Am I cold or just a little bit warm?
O well
Give me an easy life and a peaceful death"

Auf weidersehn.

Tori
<3 xxxxx

[17 Jun 2004|09:24pm]
[ mood | good ]

You know you're bored/a geek when you sit making LJ icons all day then start making them for your mates, THEN upload them to your DeviantART account.
Still, as well as making LJ pics, I've also packed a lot of stuff that didn't get packed yesterday, plus I've managed to sort out what Psych books I'm going to need for next year's modules, since I found out I passed my modules for this year. I now don't need to take Child Development or Social textbooks, so that's less clutter &less to pack.

Meeting my programme leader at one, my nana at half two, then Kate, Dan, Michael &possibly Lee too at half three so we can have a last drink before I go. :)

Ugh, time of the month, my stomach feels all fluttery. It's the calm before the storm; I expect to be woken up in the early &unGodly hours of the morning with stomach cramps so severe that I won't be able to sleep unless I've had painkillers.

Oh yeh, Tabby I still need to get your mobile number when you're not busy.

[17 Jun 2004|03:52pm]
[ mood | emotional ]

I just realised that after tomorrow I won't see a lot of you until maybe July at Sam's scarme party, Skinny Puppy on the 19th, or possibly Christmas after tomorrow. I now know the meaning of heartache; my chest hurts, literally it feels like something is trying to burn its way out of me. I wish I'd never learned to stifle tears, they'd be running like blood if I hadn't.

I love you all, we need to meet up at some point tomorrow. I have to meet my programme leader from uni at one, then my nana at about half two, but before or after that we'll have to do something; Michael, you need your Puppy Gristle CD back, Lee needs his Alec Empire one back, &I need someone to give Dan Stevie's Stabbing Westward album back. Plus I just want to see you guys one last time.

[17 Jun 2004|03:08pm]
[ mood | curious ]

I was just watching Jenny Jones earlier on ('cos we all know how much I love my trashy tv, hehe), &they had kids on who were really badly behaved &out of control. &basically, they were beating people up, stealing, setting fire to stuff, being disrespectful to everyone, &the parents were doing fuck all about it, or just telling them to stop. I can't help but think that kids like that would be a lot better behaved if they'd had a smack when it first started. I know it's probably an unpopular opinion to have, but I think you SHOULD be able to smack your kids if they're getting out of control. Ideally it shouldn't get that far, &people should be able to control their bairns, but no kid of mine would get away with calling me a bitch, whore, slut, etc, or hit me without a hefty fucking slap.

When I was a kid, any time a parent threatened any of us with a smack it meant that if we didn't pack in whatever the hell it was we were doing, we'd get one, &what's more, that a smackable offence meant you were in deep shit.

[17 Jun 2004|11:25am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I have a twitch in my left eye. It's pissing me off.
My comp will probably be packed up tomorrow.

[16 Jun 2004|10:42pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Tired, so very very tired. I have far too much stuff. It's not good. Although everything is now packed &my room is not so much cleared as gutted. No clothes or anything in the wardrobe, drawers all emptied, everything off the top of the wardrobe, a few boxes under the bed. However, I can't see my floor now for bin liners &cardboard boxes of stuff. Seriously, it's ridiculous. Still, all my stuff is mainly clothes, CDs &books, I don't have that much random crap anymore.

&some of the bags are filled with household gubbins like towels &stuff. All that needs packing now is the computer &my hifi.

[16 Jun 2004|04:06pm]
[ mood | busy ]

As you may have already noticed, I just deleted all my userinfo &left all my communities. This is not me throwing a strop &being all, "oh I don't want to do this internet lark anymore" or "LJ sucks so I don't want one anymore", I'm just getting a new journal is all, so add me once I give you the link in a few days/weeks time (depending on how quick we get internet access in the new house).

I'm still keeping this one so I can read over my old entries, but feel free to delete it off your friends list as I shan't be using it as a proper LJ anymore after Friday, or possibly tomorrow since I'll have to get the comp packed away.

[15 Jun 2004|06:45pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

First of all I must apologise to my future housemates for being such an awkward cow, I'm sorry. <333
I promise I won't do it again. :P

&I'll keep the fussing to a minimum. I'll also do hoovering. :P

Anyway, I got an email from my programme leader at uni, I have to meet her at 2.30 tomorrow, &email her my student number so I can get a transcript, so hopefully I've passed everything. Fingers crossed. I'm just glad I can get everything sorted before I move. I've done some packing, so now my clothes need packing up, I'll just leave a skirt, some jeans &a few tops out for the next couple of days. &a lot of other miscellaneous stuff also needs packing.

I appear to be sunburnt. Bugger.

Spent the day wandering around Newcastle looking for an art gallery with Lee, Leesh &Nigel. It was semi-closed when we got there. Also bugger.

[15 Jun 2004|11:23am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

If you think I'm making a mistake, fuck off. &if you can't be happy for me, you can fuck off too.

Sick of people being annoying &feeling sorry for themselves cos I'm going &they did fuck all for me while I was here. You're just feeling guilty, it's selfish, you're selfish, fuck you.

[15 Jun 2004|12:46am]
LJ is a scumfuck.

Your own personal Jesus. [15 Jun 2004|12:32am]
[ mood | angry ]

Yes, you knew it would happen eventually, &it's cliched as fuck, but here it is anyway, in full technicolour with polyphonic sound; the Christianity rant. Now, I don't have any problem with Christians per se; I was raised in an Anglican household, &although I don't follow that path, I respect my parents' religion, &any others. However, what I don't respect, is a fucking cop-out. &that's what Christianity is to some of these people.

I was bored earlier on, so going through all my bookmarks, &I found a rather amsuing article that I'd saved from some Christian site about how POD are evil. Amusing, yes, but I went looking on other sections of the site, &basically I found a link about Sin &how you can avoid it, &then another link saying, "Do you want to be saved?" so I click it, &I find "only the blood of Jesus will wash away your sins.... not good works".

Cop out or fucking WHAT?!?! I mean, please, come on now, people are going to read that &think, "hehe, the blood of Christ washeth (sic) away my sins, wha-hey!" &then that gives them free rein to live a selfish life, safe in the knowledge that they will go to heaven because they've been "saved". If God's that easy to fool, then we're all going to Heaven, all it takes is a few little words &no more guilt.

We treat the other creatures on this planet totally wretchedly most of the time anyway, without being able to turn a blind eye to suffering ¬ do a fucking thing about it because those good works we would have done won't matter, cos we won't get into Heaven. Am I the only one seeing something majorly fucking flawed with that logic? It's like all the other fucking "Christians" who think that just because they go to church every week &confess their "sin" everytime they have an "impure thought" or some such other Catholic guilt shit, that they get to do fuck all for anyone else.

I don't give a shit what religion you are, just treat other people, animals &anything else you come across with some respect as a creation of whatever put us here (since if you're religious you'll believe ::something:: put us here) &get off your fucking high horse.

[14 Jun 2004|07:16pm]
[ mood | full ]

First of all, whoever attacked rivetbabydoll at the Skinny Puppy show deserves to have their balls set on fire &their internal organs torn out one by one with tweezers.

Anyone touches me when lord_lucan &I go to the London SP show &I will break their... well, everything. Arms, legs, neck, whatever, I will fucking crucify you.

That said, on with the update. I know I said I was gonna come back tomorrow, but seeing the house in Boro didn't take as long as I thought it would, so I left today because I need as much time as possible to pack &stuff.

Got to Newcastle at about twenty past ten, met murton &we went for a wander; I purchased UAIOe by KMFDM, &listened to the Panic DHH album (I'm sooo getting that next week, hehe, but I'm even more miffed that I can't go &see KMFDM now cos Panic DHH are supporting them :(). We got the bus to Boro at about ten to twelve, &saw Sarah &Becky. Then we went to view the new house; it's so nice! :D I can't wait to move in, w00t.
New kitchen, new bathroom, new furniture, it's much nicer than I thought it would be. I took pictures but with my mum's camera.

&I relented &had dairy milk in my coffee, because my head is literally fucking banging, &it's ever since I started drinking the non-dairy milk, I've had practically a constant headache &my stomach's been a little bit weird too. I've decided this headache is either something to do with the milk, or it's caffeine withdrawal symptoms, cos I usually drink loads of coffee &tea, but I haven't over the past few days. So I think it's one of those, &if it's the caffeine thing, then I'm just going to have to eat raw coffee or something, haha. Failing that I want a drip with pure caffeine. :P

Anyway, I've started packing already, &I STILL haven't got any word from my programme leader so I'll have to phone her tomorrow.

[13 Jun 2004|10:44pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Off to Boro tomorrow to look at the new house, back on Tuesday. Night night.

I see you curlled up tightly hiding from it all just looking for something. [13 Jun 2004|01:41pm]
[ mood | sick ]

First of all, that sausage thing is, apparently, an LJ hack, so change your passwords &delete cookies if you've done it.

That's the last time I do bloody memes &crap, from now on (well for the next week anyway until I move/start using the new journal), it's 100% original content, hehe.

Anyway, last night was great fun. Met Kate likeneontubing, Leesh littleleesh, Lee dyst0vox, Michael lord_lucan, Karen &Chris at the bus station, went to Jamesons. Dan prophet_orange, Kirsty siren_rose, Rob prince_adreena &Sy &Steph turned up later, so we just got drinks, threatened to throw drinks at each other &agreed that whatever the purple stuff was in Lee's glass, it was horrible, lol.

Pzazz at ten o'clock, I got a free pint of Diesel off Michael, Oddy played VNV Nation, Skinny Puppy &Atari Teenage Riot one after the other (w00t! Me &Lee requested them). Oh yeh, &to all the Boro people; Oddy is doing a night in Boro at Blaises (or what used to be Blaises, I don't know if it's still called that, if Boro is anything like Sunderland it'll have had about a million name changes.), so I expect you all to turn up, cos Oddy's nights are always great. :D
Pixie did his goth half hour too, which was great; Siouxsie &the Banshees, The Smiths, Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy <333 :D.

I sat &talked to people, me &Michael were trying to avoid annoying people &plotting how we could get away from them without it looking too conspicuous, haha. :P &I managed to have a talk with Rob, which was good cos there were a few things I wanted to say before I left &I didn't know if I'd have another chance to say them.
This weird guy started trying to talk to me &Michael &I got freaked out by him 'cos he was, well, scary, hehe, &I can't usually talk to people in Pzazz when I don't know them cos I can't hear a word they're saying &it's embarrassing asking someone what they said about twenty times, lol.
Apparently while I was talking to Rob there was some kind of incident with Kate &Nick, which lead to drinks being spilled all over the sofa (thank you Dan &Michael for telling me NOT to sit there :P). I don't know the exact details but apparently Kate "launched herself" at Nick (very scary thought, I love you to bits Kate but you're bloody scary when you're angry! :P). Twice. Leading to the spilling of the drinks.

But I think that was all that really happened, it was a great night though.

However, today has been less great as of the two future housemates I have on MSN, neither of them is online, so I don't know what time I'm meeting murton to go to Boro &look at the house, hehe. Still, I'll be on MSN for as long as I need to be. &I need to make sure everyone else is moving in on Saturday too, or at least one of them so I'll not be on my own.

&my head feels like there's a death metal band in it trying to get out. It's the same headache I had yesterday, it's so annoying when I get these fucking things, &it's always when I wake up in the morning.

Kicking the habit. [12 Jun 2004|01:09pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Right, as some of you may know (those of you who've checked your emails), I might not be here to go to Rock City (Pzazz) next week, so this might be my last night out.

The date of moving's been moved forward from the 1st of July to next weekend. Soooo.... I might not be here next weekend, meaning I have to see all of you out tonight, so get your bloody arses out. :P

Heart exploding, human heart attack. [12 Jun 2004|12:38pm]
[ mood | sick ]

I feel like the entire left side of my face/head is about to explode. Literally; if this headache gets any worse my brains will start throbbing &burst out of my head &the right hand side of my face.

I dunno if I'll be out tonight, I think it'll just be a quiet day in for me, I'm just going to watch some telly, make myself a bolognese &maybe read a book. I can't be arsed with much else, &anything with people is a no-no because I'll kill the next person who even looks at me funny.

Human Disease (S.K.U.M.M) [11 Jun 2004|08:06pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

I despair of people sometimes, I really do. (Beware; HUGE beyond emo psycho bitch rant with violence aplenty &lashings of blood ahead. Do NOT read on if you're of a sensitive disposition, don't like animal cruelty, or don't want to think about the consequences of me being able to carry a knife in my bag for when people piss me off)

cut for the good of mankindCollapse )

Anyway, buses suck, public transport REALLY fucking SUCKS, most people suck &should just fucking die right now, animal cruelty sucks times infinity, &I'm going to shut up now.

[11 Jun 2004|04:42pm]
[ mood | angry ]

FUCK OFF.

[11 Jun 2004|12:45am]
[ mood | giddy ]

Ah, bugger this meat lark for a game of soldiers, I'm going veggie again. I don't trust myself to cook meat, I don't really want to be eating dead animal carcass &I have NO idea where any of my meat-based food comes from. Freedom Food isn't very reliable, I don't feel comfortable eating meat, PLUS (&this is wonderful for me being a student ¬ having very much time to clart on with cooking); twenty minutes to prepare &make a Quorn green Thai curry, compared to two &a half hours to do the chicken curry I was going to make.
As a concesion to my housemates in July, if you REALLY want me to do chicken curry for you, I will, but I expect my share of the household chores to be done for a week since I'm not going to be eating the damn thing. :P &it's also not my responsibility if I poison you all, haha.

Anyway, there are some veggie recipes on the net that sound very nice, plus once I'm buying my own food I think I'll find it easier because I can go &look at things &experiment with different stuff &such. This is going to be fun... :)

Might have a trip down to town later &see what's in the supermarkets &stuff, actually, now that I'm on holiday &at a loss of what to do since it's too early to start packing, I might get some ingredients &cook myself a nice meal. I know we have some Beanfeast soya stuff (which is fucking gorgeous, I used to love it when I was a kid) so I might get some spagetti &do myself a bolognese.

[11 Jun 2004|12:01am]
[ mood | determined ]

Right, I have a link here, &I want you all to just take a look, if you care about animals at all then you might be interested, &if you don't, well just look anyway.

http://script.ftech.net/~hillside/index.php

Hillside Animal Sanctuary; I know they're asking for donations so they can buy more land to house more animals (they care for abused &abandoned animals as well as doing exposes to show which farms are mistreating their animals), so obviously if you want to donate, don't think about it, just do it. Also, you can adopt one of their animals (I adopted the pot bellied pig because, let's face it, they're ugly buggers aren't they? &everyone's going to adopt the cute little lambs &ponies, so I decided to adopt the ugliest &most unappealing thing there, because let's face it, ugly animals need love too. Plus I always relate to the ugly &unloved animals. :P) if you'd like to do that.

I know probably most of you don't care, but even if you DO eat meat but you don't give a fuck about the animals it's made from, it's really in your best interests to know what you're eating. Not solely from an animal cruelty standpoint, but just because some of these farms &slaughterhouses that are exposed on the site do NOT take care of their animals &so consequently you end up with very ill, dying &in some cases dead &rotting animals. &your meat's been in there with them. Horrible isn't it?

I eat meat ¬ only do I not want the meat I eat to have come from tortured, abused &diseased animals, I also don't want to be putting something that's been beside rotting carcasses anywhere near my body.

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